Well, this week, something has come along that is so invigorating it is almost unnerving.
Frederic Chaudiere is organising a Bach suites concert in Montpelier for me in October on the new cello!
I have not played a solo concert in nine years. Until late January 2012, I did not play on a cello for eight years. Besides the feelings of elation, excitement and anticipation, I have to admit, I have a little voice in me that is saying “f-f-f-ruitcake”. Nevertheless, the Bach suites were my most often performed repertoire in my previous incarnation as a cellist, and although I will have to face and conquer a few demons in climbing this summit, at least the repertoire will be as familiar as my favourite old boots.
The one thing that is absolutely and resolutely certain: come what may, I am doing this concert. I hope to do it really well; but even if I do it badly and am terrified to a total jelly, I am doing it. Yes, I could give in to the “run like for your life” impulse, but as Beethoven said, sometimes you have to grab life by the throat and shake it. That’s what I am going to do.
So – here is the picture I am focusing on for October: I will be well prepared on Betty, my trusty borrowed cello, and I will have practiced and shared all of the Bach Suites online as live video uploads – a good way of ironing out bingles. I know what the venue looks like, and I have it in my mind every time I practice. Lucie Chaudiere has kindly sent this photo (below) of the hall. I can see myself there in October, and this is helping me a lot.
I am told the acoustic is superb in this hall. I will be filling it with the sound of this cello (below is exactly how it looked yesterday), after one day familiarising myself with its finished form and a cello voice that, in this concert, will speak publicly for the very first time.
I am staring at this photo. I have stared at it for more than an hour since last night when I first saw it. I think this might be the most beautiful piece of maple I have seen, and it is going to be playing Bach with me in October, in Montpelier.
I have a lump in my throat. I must be dreaming.